You Have Started Learning To Master And Relax Your Pelvic Floor Muscles, So You Will Be Able To Choose Your Moment In Future.

In these first 4 steps to transforming your sex life, you have started the process of overcoming PE.

The 4 steps to treat premature ejaculation:

  • Advanced Breathing

Breathing forms an integral part when it comes to sex and is fundamental to lasting longer. Skillful breathing implies breathing appropriately during each arousal stage from before the onset of sex, during and after.

  • Relaxation Techniques

You need to relax key areas if you want to increase your performance in bed. This in turn boosts your confidence and gives you higher control levels. This is one of the easiest techniques to learn and it can make a noticeable difference right from the start!

  • Control Your Ejaculation Time

The magic key is that when these muscles are relaxed, it becomes physically impossible to ejaculate. You need to develop control of the muscles used in ejaculation rather than strengthen them, as some guys do, training their pelvic floor to contract like it’s some kind of gym work-out. The key is to achieve relaxation, at will. This level of control might take several weeks to master, but once you do you will have masterful control of the timing of your ejaculation.

  • Mental Control Skills

The brain operates an effective feedback system; while every sensation stimulates your brain, your attitudes and intentions determine your experience of sex. So you need effective mental control techniques, coupled with the physical control techniques discussed below, to permanently treat premature ejaculation and fulfill your sexual potential.

Introducing Cassandra’s Complete Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation:

Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual complaint. It’s pretty much the norm for young men to experience it during early sexual experiences.

Even if you’re no longer a beginner, I want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone has issues that come up at some point as part of a normal, healthy sex life. Dealing with these issues can herald the start of getting to know your own body better, and usher in a much better sex life. So grab the opportunity, to become a masterful lover!

It is crucial to change your masturbation style, learning to slow down and take your time, learning to enjoy sexual pleasure, by stopping what you’re doing and learning to enjoy the sensations rather than going for more and more friction. Masturbation needs to become the time when you explore the process of your sexual response and to recognize your own point of ejaculatory inevitability

This is the pace to use the ‘stop start method’, (where you squeeze right below the head of the penis to dampen your ejaculatory response) because it drives most women mad – they can’t relax into the flow of sex and it starts to feel mechanical.

Other methods to subdue your ejaculatory reflexes involve calming yourself when you near the ‘point of no return’. and we’ll discuss these in my Complete Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation.

As far as sexual etiquette in the bedroom is concerned you need to keep your partner happy by focusing on her pleasure before you take your own.

When she’s sexually satisfied, you are free of pressure to perform with your penis – cutting out the anxiety that aggravates PE. According to Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, use your fingers, and your mouth. Find out what she likes.
Focus on foreplay rather than rushing for intercourse. Don’t even think about penetration until you’ve gained solo sexual mastery. That doesn’t mean you can’t connect your genitals – you can use you penis to rub her clitoris, labia and circle around the entrance of her vagina – but don’t even think about thrusting!

The first 4 Steps to Overcome Premature Ejaculation:

Step 1

  • Relax your body

Because we live in such a fast-paced, high-stress society, it’s no wonder most of us are hyped up and occasionally driven. This can seriously interfere with your ability to relax in a sexual situation. Men with PE often carry a lot of physical tension – including around the pelvic area. Especially if you feel tense or hyper at times, and tend to anxiety, unconfident or perfectionist, relaxation is your first priority.

Start with regular relaxation training; any method or activity that helps you relax, feel calmer, and reduces levels of anxiety, stress, or anger.

Relaxation techniques are well known to decrease muscle tension, lower your blood pressure and slow heart and breath rates. All of these help you get into a better base line state to approach successful sexual connection.

It’s important to find the style of relaxation that suits you; from autogenics, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, mediation, yoga, tai chi, walking, gardening, etc. Movement-based relaxation methods are beneficial if you tend to depression. Some people cultivate a positive attitude of loving kindness and appreciation for everything good in life, while others prefer prayer. Some men listen to classical music while others take the opportunity to receive a massage.

To help you get started, I am going to suggest exercises from Autogenics, Deep Breathing and Mindfulness.


Make yourself comfortable lying down and when your breathing has fallen into a slow, calm rhythm, focus on relaxing each part of your body, giving yourself these instructions.

“My right arm is heavy (and warm)” (start with your left arm if you are left handed)
Repeat each phrase 3 or four times
“My left arm is heavy”
“My arms are heavy”
“My right leg is heavy”
“My left leg is heavy”
“My legs are heavy”
“My heartbeat is calm and regular”
My belly feels heavy and warm
Take a deep breath, filling your lungs, and allow it to empty at it’s own pace.
“It (my breath) breathes me”
“My neck and shoulders are heavy”
My forehead feels cool and light
“I am at peace”
At the end of the complete cycle stretch your arms up for a few seconds.

  • Alternatively you can use progressive muscle relaxation;

The idea of this exercise is to flex each muscle, accentuating the muscle tension, before focusing on releasing the tension. It helps to focus on releasing tension with each out-breath, as this is when your body naturally tends to let go of tension.

Practice for at least 10 minute periods once or twice a day

Step 2: Deep abdominal breathing is powerful and can really help during sex.

Learn to breathe into your pelvis.
Sitting upright but relaxed, place a hand over your lower belly, inhaling slowly and fully to the count of 4,and exhaling at the same rhythm. If you can’t feel your abdomen gently swelling against your hand with the inhalation, don’t try to force your breath in the direction of your abdomen. Focus more on fully emptying your lungs, perhaps with a gentle whistling noise to encourage your breath out – but again, without forcing it. As you get more used to this style of breathing, your muscles will relax more, allowing more oxygen to reach your lower belly.

If you are a visual person, it can help to imagine the breath is going all the way down to the base of your belly, as you inhale. As you breathe out, imagine the breath climbing though your body and streaming out of your mouth. You can intensify the out-breath by exhaling with a loud sigh.

Once you have learnt the next step; Kegels, you can add these into your breathing practice by pulling your pelvic floor muscles upwards and inwards as you breathe in, relaxing them as you breathe out. Once you have got to the end of your in-breath, with tightened pelvic floor muscles, take another sniff of air, pulling the muscles up even tighter, before releasing. This technique can be incorporated into solo sex and partner sex at a later date

Step 3: Sexercise; do your daily Kegels

Kegel exercises for men help improve self­ control during sex because the same pelvic muscles are also involved in the ejaculation process. It is the contraction of the pelvic muscles (PC muscle) which forces the ejaculate or seminal fluid from your prostate gland.
Many men have tense pelvic floor muscles – learning to strengthen and relax then is crucial to gain control over your ejaculation.

Locating the pelvic floor muscles:
Cut your urinary flow short when urinating – or push the flow out faster – you feel it in your stomach under your belly button and over your penis; this is the front area; the back area is the area between your testicles and anus.

If you can feel the muscles working, exercise them by
drawing your PC muscles inwards and upwards as you breathe in and hold them for several seconds as firmly as possible – don’t force it, though!
Then relax your muscles completely. Remember to breathe as you relax, deepening the relaxation as your breath exhales. Make sure you relax them for a full 10 seconds.
Repeat. Try to do as many repetitions as you can (up to 15).
Relax for a while.

After this you can do the short exercise where you rhythmically flutter and flex the muscles, as follows:
Draw the muscles upwards and inwards and hold for one second, then relax completely for one second. Repeat a few times, and then relax completely for ten seconds.
With every out-breath release your muscle tension and relax even more
Repeat the above several times.

Make sure no to hold your breath, or tense other muscles — buttocks, thighs, lower abdomen, etc. Focus your exercises more precisely.

Relaxing the pelvic floor muscles

The Kegels exercises above focus on strengthening those muscles but being able to relax them is just as important. A technique that works for some, is exhaling then holding your breath for up to 30 seconds, while focusing on relaxing by directing your breath into that area, rather than bearing down.

Reverse Kegels can also balance and relax the pelvic floor. You use your breath to let the pelvic floor expand in a natural way, and feel your perineum expand downward slightly.(Again, don’t force the PC muscles down!) Put your hand behind your testicles to feel the difference between contraction and relaxation of these muscles.
The process is the same as releasing the muscles when you are ejaculating (a technique you will later incorporate into sexual play to prevent premature ejaculation).

Reverse Kegel exercises can take time to master because it involves a sophisticated control of your pelvic floor muscles. It’s important to feel generally calm and relaxed when you start (not rushed) so that there is no tension or stress built up in the area. Start with10 – 15 a day and work up to about 30..

At first you may need to perform these exercises while sitting. As the muscles strengthen you can progress to standing up. A few good contractions are more beneficial than many half-hearted ones and good results take some time and effort, so stick with this. Lasting improvement in pelvic floor muscle tone will take 3 – 6 months of regular training of these muscles. Just incorporate these muscles whenever appropriate during your daily exercise or activities.

Step 4: Cultivating Mental Focus

A good level of awareness is essential for keeping tabs on where you are in your sexual process, and gaining more control, as well as a key part of good relationships. Awareness of what’s happening in your body and your mind –is as crucial a component of successful love-making as anything that’s going on down below! To be able to enjoy intense sensations and deeper pleasure you’ll want to learn how to get onto the zone.

A great way to develop your ability to focus is known as Mindfulness, and was formulated by Jonathon Kabat-Zinn.Mindfulness is the ability to observe one’s own internal processes as if you are a compassionate witness. It is the unprejudiced awareness of what’s happening within us –and also with others. This kind of awareness helps you to develop the insight, and choose more positive responses to the intrusive thoughts and feelings which bombard you.

You can train yourself to observe your inner experience with calm and with a feeling of clarity – and without reacting ‘mindlessly’. You are more in touch with your inner state, but also more in control of your urges.
The easiest way to start this process is to watch a session (at Google HQ) on You Tube, titled ‘Jon Kabat-Zinn leads a session on Mindfulness at Google’. Practise this kind of awareness at various points throughout the day – walking on your own, spending time with the family, during a meeting at work when you might otherwise drift off into your own thoughts. You’ll notice as well that the quality of your focus and attention changes, and other people will begin to notice that too – and feel as if you are listening and paying attention to them in a way that really makes a difference to the quality of your communication.
As you will begin to see, this is the most important step for reconnecting more effectively with a partner, and improving your sex life.

  • Bringing it all together.

You will work on each skill one by one – on your own rather than with a partner – and then integrate them so that you develop sexual mastery. As you apply them to solo sex the benefits of the exercises will come together and you will experience a dramatic improvement. You are then ready to introduce them into your love-making with a partner!

In my e-book Complete Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation by Cassandra Lorius, I will teach you how to control ejaculation by learning all about the process:

Recognize your stages of arousal so that you can intervene early
Learn to relax your PC muscles
Control your PC muscles so you can choose your moment
You will incorporate these exercises and others into solo sex
Cultivate a masturbation style geared towards successful and satisfying partner sex
Last much longer
Deepen your sensual experience
Enjoy more pleasure
And mind-blowing sex
You will harness your biggest erogenous zone – your brain
And learn to get in the zone during sex – and stay there
Satisfy your partner sexually while feeling in synch with timing
Learn to enjoy the wave of pleasure
Harness your biggest erogenous zone; get your brain on track
Get in the zone during sex – and stay there

Click here to find out when the book is available on Kindle 

If you need an expert to support you as you learn and apply these methods effectively and start enjoying a fulfilling sexual life now, consider booking a Skype consultation. Contact us today to set up an appointment, and start now to overcome Premature Ejaculation.

To Book a Consultation, Click on this Link right now!

Be Sociable, Share!