Get the sex you want!

All of us can get more sex, and better sex, by developing our sexual intelligence. Doesn’t matter whether you are sexually experienced or not, or in a good relationship or not. Sexual confidence involves exploring your own sexuality and that of your partner, as well as cultivating emotional awareness, and the ability to relax and enjoy the sensuality of being comfortable with your own body, and its own particular pleasures.

Opening to deeper pleasure involves increasing your capacity to relax and be fully in the moment, savouring the erotic and sensual pleasures of your own experience,  This is something we can all work on, whether in a relationship or not.

Rather than trying to convince your partner to give you more sex, focus on savouring the sexual relationship that you already have, tuning into your partner more during sex, and focusing on all the things that your partner enjoys. A sure way of getting your partner more interested in sex, is to make sure it’s as enjoyable for them as possible, emotionally as well as physically.

We all like to be with an attentive partner, and the best way of finding out what your partner enjoys and wants more of, is to create a trusting atmosphere where you both can talk about your experiences and share what each of you enjoys.

Forget about what you imagine everyone else is getting up to, or ‘normal’ sexual function – and drop all the unrealistic expectations that have built up with portrayals of sex in the media and porn sites – and start enjoying the actual sex you’re having with the person you love.

If you struggle with the effects of sexual trauma or unhappy relationships in the past that have damaged your sexual self esteem, or you have physical problems with sex, these issues can be helped with good sex therapy, aimed at helping you get the kind of sex that YOU want.

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